A Bump in the Road
by WildestDreams97
Summary: This is set during Fifty Shades Freed. What if Jack Hyde didn't demand money from Ana which leads to the accident? How would Ana and Christian reconcile after their fight about the baby without the destructive events in Freed? Probably will be M rated in the future and will have a HEA.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Okay I had this idea of a Fifty Shades story a while ago and never really had the chance to write it up, but here is my prologue/first chapter. The first few chapters wont be M rated, however I have decided that later on it may change due to the nature of the original books. Hope you enjoy. All rights/characters/everything belongs to E.L James who wrote Fifty Shades.  
**

 **Chloe.**

Ana PoV:

"Sawyer, I'm fine. Just please take me home." Even to my own ears, I can hear how miserable I sound, but despite my stubborn husband's belief's, I know how to take care of myself, which in this case means going home to take a bath and then read awhile.

I have not slept properly in nearly 3 days, memories from the conversation I had with Christian flood my mind whenever I close my eyes. The look of fear consuming his grey irises when I told him that I was pregnant, his cruel words struck like venom to my heart, the consuming sadness that was evoked through his words when he said that I would choose the baby over him.

I don't know how much longer I can do this. The avoiding, the pretending, the hiding. We haven't had a proper conversation with each other since that day, he has been short with me and despite my attempts to offer the olive branch, he never reciprocates. I stare out of the SUV's windows, Seattle's dreary and cloudy weather reflecting my inner turmoil. If Christian truly needs Elena, where to I come into the equation, I should have known that I would never have been enough. Years of memories are hard to forget, maybe that is why he spoke to Elena on that night, or maybe he is finally sick of me and vanilla and my apparent constant refusal to succumb to his demands about security and my independence.

Maybe our only way out of this situation is to escape it, end it, stop the thing that caused the problems in the first place, the same thought enters my head as it did on the way back from the hospital. At that point, I didn't think that Christian would reject me and the baby, so maybe it would be for the best. However, as soon as I think this, a pain wreaks my heart at the thought of ending the life that we have created together through our love. I would never forgive myself or Christian if I did that, I would live in regret of what could have been. No, we have to get through this, we will get through this. It's just a bump in the road, nothing could break us apart, nothing.

Sawyer drives into Escala's underground carpark and pulls into one of Christians spaces, before he can open my door, I jump out of the car and walk over to the elevator, completely disregarding security protocol, no wonder Christian is sick of me. Sawyer catches up to me and walks into the elevator first, I try to block him out but it's no use as I hear my name.

"Yes sir, I have taken her home as Mrs Grey stated that she didn't feel too well." I roll my eyes at the one sided conversation that I can hear, clearly I have to have every single of one my movements reported to Taylor due to my husband's wishes, my subconscious shakes her head at me clearly irritated that I have not come to terms with the fact that I will probably never have any freedom in my life again.

"Is Mr Grey with you right now sir? Please let him know that I have everything under control." Sawyer looks over at me with the corner of his eye, apprehension is evident in his face. Clearly, he is worried about me as I have never been ill in his company before, this makes me roll my eyes at him again. Honestly.

"What time are you expected back? An hour, okay sir, thank you." The elevator finally arrives at the penthouse, the flowers on the table still blooming brightly in the foyer, slightly distracting me from the troubles that plague my mind. The tired and ill feeling that I felt earlier has worsened slightly, making it difficult for me to disguise the discomfort on my face.

"Sawyer, I'm going to take a bath. There is really no need for you to check on me or even stay but I know your orders from my control freak husband, so don't worry about me. I'll probably just read in the library afterwards." I say with as much strength as I can muster and walk slowly to the bathroom in the spare room upstairs. I refuse to look next to me as I walk past the playroom door, restricting images of Christian and his subs to enter my mind and tempt me further into despair.

I look over to the bed that I have slept in over the last few days, a bed is cold without Christian sleeping next to you, a feeling that sweeps discomfort into my mind. We have to get through this, I love him too much to not get through this. With this last thought in my mind, I stalk slowly into the bathroom.

Filled with excessive amounts of bath oils, the aroma from the steaming bathtub welcomes me forward into its warm arms. I slowly take off each item of my clothing, each movement seeming more difficult than the last and I stare into the mirror next to the bathtub, the woman in the reflection is miserable, I rub my stomach that I know will expand over the next few months and turn away. Sluggishly, I lower myself into my temporary safe haven. My secluded luxury succumbs me, my restless thoughts momentarily forgotten, and tiredness floods over me in waves and I slowly drift off into slumber.


	2. Chapter 2 - Christian's PoV

**Thank you to everyone who has read/reviewed/followed/favorited this story so far, I was not expecting that at all and I really appreciate it so thank you so so much! Anyway, I decided to write this chapter from Christian's PoV to get his side of the story. Also, there will NEVER be any cheating in my story. Everything belongs to E.L James.**

 **Chloe**

Christian PoV-

Where the fuck did everything go wrong? The last few days have been torture, the tension between myself and my beautiful yet reckless wife is killing me, physically and emotionally. You would have thought that with the amount of crap that I've had to deal with in my life, it would allow me to be capable with not speaking to someone for a few days, even months. I'm pretty sure that I spent weeks not speaking to my parents before I met Ana. Yet I can't seem to do it with her.

She completely beguiles me, from the minute I saw her she blew me off of my feet with her innocence, her beauty, her intelligence. She makes me proud everyday just with a single smile, proud to say that she's mine. Only mine. But that won't be the case anymore. What kind of father could I be?

I'm aware that I acted like a dick the other night, seeing the hurt resonate on her face made me want to fall on my knees and beg for her forgiveness for everything that I have ever done to hurt her, but I'm a stubborn man. Plus I was drunk, probably not a good combination for that particular conversation. Despite Ana's beliefs, I didn't seek to see Elena the other night, if I had it my way I would never see her aged, makeup plastered face again in my life, but clearly the old man upstairs wanted to punish me and somehow I ended up in a bar with Elena. No matter how many times I told her to leave, she made another excuse to remain in my presence so I left, called Taylor and slept on the way home.

So here I am sat at my desk at Grey Enterprises, trying to decipher my notes from the meeting I was sat in only half an hour ago, but the portraits on the wall keep on distracting me. My beautiful baby's face staring down at me, I never meant to hurt her. The last thing I want to do is hurt my wife, my mesmerising Ana, the woman who saved me from my demons and brought me into the light, my angel. What have I done to us?

I'm so distracted by my wife's portraits that I don't realise when Taylor sweeps into the room and stands in front of my desk.

"Sir" he says clearly, waiting for me to respond to him.

"Taylor, what it is? I'm busy."

"Sir, I just wanted to inform you Sawyer is on the phone and is saying that Mrs Grey has gone home as she isn't feeling too well, Sawyer has driven her home, he says that has it all under control and they have just arriv-"

"What's wrong with her? Is it serious? Has she gone to the hospital?" Is it the baby, is this why she's ill, maybe it's just morning sickness, but its midday it can't be. Maybe it's me, the stress that she's been under recently can't be good for her.

"Taylor, we're going back to Escala, 10 minutes I just need to finish this contract." I'm worried, anxious and angry, not a good combination for me, I just need to know that my Ana is okay. Taylor leaves the room and I quickly pack my work into my bag, I've been missing out on loads of work recently and my company can't afford for me to be distracted.

Ten minutes later, I'm sat in the back seat of Taylor's SUV, my hands tapping the side of my knee in a nervous fashion. As much as I'm still angry and frustrated about the fact that my wife is having a baby due to her lack of organisation, my fear is overriding. At this moment in time, my own fear of being a father has taken a back seat and instead concern for my wife's health takes priority, what if Sawyer was lying when he said that he had everything under control? What if its all a lie and shes leaving me, using her illness as a ploy to distract all of us, would my wife do this to me? No, she wouldn't do that, would she?

"Taylor, I need to be home ASAP." I can't take this any longer, the anticipation of what could be occurring back at Escala is killing me. This is why I like control. I grab my phone from my pocket and reply to some work emails to distract myself from my thoughts that are rapidly spiralling out of control.

We finally reach Escala, the elevator seems to be going slower than normal. Agitation rises up in me again, what's the point of being a bloody billionaire if you can't even have everyday functions work properly for you?

As I walk into the foyer, my heart stops. The flowers on the table seem to act as a focal point in the room, they are the flowers that were present at our wedding. My throat constricts itself, seemingly choking me when I come to a realisation; how could I have hurt my Ana like this, all the horrible things that I have said and done in the last few days swim across my mind, taunting me, making me feel even more remorseful. In that moment, I knew what I had to do.

Taylor from behind me informs me that Sawyer mentioned that Mrs Grey had gone for a bath.

"Which room?" I ask, please not the spare room again.

"The guest bathroom." Without another word, he walks quietly into the security office. I stand stock still in the middle of the apartment, I need to fix this.

"Ana" I call out loudly, hoping for a reply but I receive none. I can hear the taps running, echoing around the living room from upstairs. I briskly run up the stairs to the first floor, calling out Ana's name again, but again, I am met with no reply.

Panic rises in me and, without thinking, I barge into the guest bathroom and my heart stops for the second time in five minutes.

"ANA, no!" I scream, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I run over to the bath and lift my wife's body from the hot, scented water.

No. No. No. This cannot be happening, please god no, not my beautiful wife. I didn't mean any of it please, punish me for my sins not her, not her.

I am caught up in my misery, tears cascade down my cheeks. Before Ana, I cannot remember the last time that I cried.

Then, I hear a gasp that both stops and restarts my heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry that it's taken a while to update, I saw Taylor Swift on Wednesday 24** **th** **and I have been recovering from the best night of my life ever since** **Anyway, thank you for every review/favourite/follow, they make my day, now on with the chapter. Fifty Shades belongs to E.L James.**

 **Chloe**

Ana PoV

Christian. I can hear him. His voice is muffled but his tears ring out loud and clear to my ears, every sob is like a stab to my heart. My sleep ridden body refuses to escape its slumbered solitude, my eyelids force themselves closer together denying the opportunity so slip into complete consciousness.

"No, no, no. Not my Ana. Please not my Ana" His voice is thick with emotion even in a whisper, pain resonates in every word that he says, making me momentarily forget my anger from the past few days. I gasp, my body finally free from its state of lethargy but a bright light emanates from the centre of the room, piercing my vision with a slight burning sensation, gradually my eyes adjust to the pristine surroundings of the guest bathroom.

As my eyes adjust, I look up and see Christian looking down at me. His grey eyes seem to stare straight into and through me almost as if he is able to read my every thought. He is so beautiful, I think to myself. With everything that has happened and changed over the last few weeks, this is one of the few things that stays constant; his unnatural ability to make my heart leap from my chest with a single look. However, as my mind begins to catch up with the situation, I notice a wild, uncontrollable storm in his grey eyes. Oh no, I'm so in trouble with fifty, and with this thought, my subconscious drops her dog eared copy of 'Tess of the d'Urbervilles' and hides behind a sofa, this isn't going to end well, crap, what else have I done? I quickly scan through my scattered memories in my mind but the last thing I can remember is taking a bath- oh. He is so going to go thermonuclear fifty on me, my eyes widen at the prospect.

As I am about to say something to him, he stands up with me still in his arms, carries me into the bedroom and then drops me softly onto the bed. I can hear his breathing become laboured, but somehow I don't think it's because of my state of undress. He stalks out of the room and, 2 minutes later, arrives back with a pair of my pyjamas in his hands and throws them onto the bed.

"Christian…" I tentatively start to speak to him but he stops me with a raise of his arm.

"Don't speak Anastasia. Put the clothes on, now." I'm Anastasia again, his tears have evaporated and instead cold fury radiates from his stiff body. He isn't shouting at me, and that's what makes it even more frightening, his voice is low and barely controlled, his anger evident in his speech as every word he spoke seemed as if he was spitting venom. My eyes widen again, holy crap. Quickly, I throw on the pyjamas that Christian has brought in for me, I notice that they are the royal purple silk and black lace chemise and short set that I bought on our honeymoon, it almost seems as if it was eons ago that we were living on cloud nine. I finish dressing and look up at him. Oh how do I fix this Christian, tell me please, I don't think I can do this for much longer. Are we really this broken? Is this pregnancy really going to end us? The thought breaks my already fragile heart.

"What the hell were you thinking Anastasia?" His voice drags me out of my inner turmoil, I feel my eyes sting although this time it isn't because of the light. My vision becomes blurred from the tears that threaten to escape.

"Don't you dare start with the waterworks Anastasia, it isn't going to work this time. Why the fuck would you do that?" The volume of his speech increases with every word, my lips quiver, the tears that threatened to escape earlier fall down my cheeks in steady streams, but I'm too afraid to wipe them away.

"Christian, I -"

"NO, Anastasia. Don't. I don't want to hear it." He takes a deep breath and looks at me with fury in his eyes. "I understand that you're angry with me about Elena, but the fact is that I never meant to speak to her that night I've already told you the truth and you don't believe me. I also know that you're angry about my reaction to the fact that you got yourself pregnant, but I don't understand why you would find the need to hurt yourself. Is this your idea of getting back at me? Or, maybe you're trying to get a message across. But baby, this is, this is too far. Didn't you think about the baby? It isn't just fucking you anymore Ana. Don't you love me anymore?" His voice catches on his last sentence, no fifty no. He's walking away from me, the distance between us physically is frustrating, but the emotional distance is even worse.

"No, Christian listen to me. I didn't mean to fall-"

"Is this what it's going to be like Ana? Because I love you, oh god do I love you, but this…Didn't you think about me? Didn't you think about what would happen to me if you died? It would kill me Ana, kill me. I don't think you understand how much I love you, but clearly you don't feel it as much as I do because you wouldn't be messing with your life if you did!" Pain. That's all I can hear in his voice. It's all I can feel. Does he really doubt my love for him?

"Christian, you need to listen to me." He doesn't interrupt me so I walk closer to where he is stood on the other side of the room and grab hold of his hands that have formed tight fists, his knuckles have gone a pale shade of white due to the strain.

"I didn't mean to do anything, I fell asleep in the bath, that's all. I wasn't trying to hurt myself or do anything at all, that has never even crossed my mind. Do you know why" I don't give him time to answer "because I know that we can get through this Christian" he starts to interrupt me, but I continue to speak making sure that he understands my thoughts.

"I love you Christian, more than I can say. You were and are my first everything and you will only ever be the one person who knows me completely, emotionally, physically and intimately." I take a deep breath, choosing my next words carefully, I don't want to hurt him more than I already have but I need to vent my emotional state.

"You hurt me Christian, I realised the other night how you own me completely because your actions pained me to the core. To know that my husband preferred the company of the woman that I hate the most in this world because of what she did to you tore me apart, it makes me feel inadequate because it reinforces the fear that I'm not good enough for you. I understand why you are angry with me about the baby, but this baby wasn't in my immediate plans either, Christian. I feel like I've literally just graduated, do you really think that I dreamed of being pregnant at 22 years old?" I release his hands and put my head in my hands, my heart pounds almost painfully within my chest threatening to burst from the magnitude of emotions that I am feeling. "But I won't get rid of Blip. I love you with every fibre of my being, you are my husband and I want you to know that if you don't want this baby, I'll be okay. I can raise blip by myself. But I truly want us to work through this together,"

I take hold of his hands again with my own and gently move them to my stomach where a bump is yet to form. His eyes widen fractionally and the fear in his eyes grows more prominent.

"This is our baby Christian, this is something that we made together through our love for each other. Please don't shut me out, please talk to me." Please Christian.

Then, with a jolt, my poor fifty yanks his hands from my stomach and swiftly walks out of the room and down the stairs.

Rejection falls over me. I feel sick to my stomach. My belly lurches and I run back into the bathroom with my hand over my mouth.

With my head against the cool surface of the bathtub, I wipe the tears that have continued to cascade down as I emptied the contents of my stomach. A mixture of stress, anxiety and morning sickness is not a good combination. Why the hell is it called morning sickness if it can happen at any time? I huff out a sigh and move over to the sink. My god I look like hell, my hair is still wet from being submerged in the bath only half an hour ago, tear tracks are etched on my red cheeks, the remnants of my tears glimmer in the dim light. My eyes are bloodshot from endless streams of tears and my face is ghostly pale.

 _Let him mull it over_ , my subconscious says to me from her hiding spot behind the sofa, he needs time. _It's been days_ , I think to myself. Even with his masses of success, the fact my husband is still so insecure hurts me deeply, all because of his birthmother and Mrs Robinson.

Enough is enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow! Again (I must sound ridiculous) thank you to every single person that has even read my story, the reviews/follows/favourites are a bonus. This is a flashback to a week after Ana agreed to marry Christian in Darker, I wanted to add more background to the topic of children**

 **Chloe**

 _Flashback_

 _Ana PoV_

 _The bright lights of Seattle shine innocently in the darkness of the sky, illuminating the hustle and bustle of the streets below. Cars rush through the night carrying people to their destination, the image is enlightening. Soothing. Calming. The stars above Escala gleam brightly and happiness courses through my veins, I'm engaged to Christian Grey. I, Ana Steele, am marrying the man of my dreams, the man of my everything, Christian, my fifty._

 _Wow, don't I sound possessive, I think to myself. He must be rubbing off on me, my face breaks out into a grin at the thought and I bite my lip at the literal interpretation that my inner goddess has taken of that comment, he's definitely been rubbing off on me._

 _The mug of tea that was once steaming is now cool in my hands, partly due to my distraction, partly due to my disinterest. The blanket slung over my folded up limbs keeps my legs warm in my armchair facing the window with a view of the city. My overactive brain makes sleep impossible, it's been nearly a week since I agreed to be his wife, nearly a week since I almost lost him. The content smile that graced my lips falters and falls, I mustn't think of that; the pain, the anxiety, the fear. My subconscious raises her eyebrows at the derailment of my thoughts, I promised myself to let go of the anguish and to focus on the present, to focus on my fiancé._

 _Fiancé. Who'd have thought that I'd be getting married at 21? I silently pray that I won't end up like my mother, I have always said that I would only marry once because of her numerous marriages. Christian is the only man I can picture myself with for the rest of my life, so I doubt that will be a problem. That week without him was torture, even if it was self-inflicted. I would do anything to avoid feeling the emptiness that I felt without him again, I will even endure the constant security if it means that I will be with him forever._

 _My subconscious looks up at me from her copy of 'The Catcher in the Rye' with a disgusted look on her face and shakes her head softly. Get a hold of yourself Anastasia, since when did you lose your independence and self-control all for a man? Since I fell in love and nearly lost him, I reply._

 _Will I change when I become Mrs Anastasia Grey, or will I remain the same? Will all of my independence be stripped from me once the ink dries on our wedding certificate? My doubts evaporate when I imagine myself and Christian, my future husband, stood hand in hand on a deck facing the Sound with our children running around our feet, a little boy and girl, the early morning sun reflecting off of their beautiful faces. That is what I want, for us to be surrounded in our love, for our future to be bright and full of distant opportunities. But, does Christian even want children?_

 _My inner conflict is interrupted by soft lips trailing the outline of my neck. Christian. I sigh quietly in the muted light of the room, the only light is provided by the city outside. My body weakens and loosens under his touch. His strong hands graze their way down my arms, causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin._

" _Cold, Miss Steele?" he delicately continues his journey of kisses up my neck until he reaches my earlobe, he bites the flesh gently._

" _Quite the opposite, Mr Grey." Unable to restrain myself from touching him any longer, I turn my body around in the chair so that I am facing him, his grey irises are enveloped in a pool of desire and longing. His eyes tell me everything I need to know. I lunge forward and kiss his lips feverishly as if it will be the last time that I will able to touch him. My love for this man grows and flourishes every day. My body tingles with need. His arms encircle around my body and lift me from my warm haven of blankets and into his arms, home. To my surprise, it's Christian who breaks our kiss as he sits us down back into the armchair that I was previously inhabiting. His forehead rests on mine, his eyes are closed as if he is savouring our time together._

" _As much as I would like to continue where that was going, Miss Steele, and we will continue, I would like to know what you were thinking earlier. You were so lost in thought that you didn't respond to me when I called your name from the bedroom, so it must have been something important." His voice is tangled with amusement however, his eyes evoke seriousness and honest curiosity. Time to unleash a can of worms. Just as we were about to get to the good part too, my inner goddess pouts._

" _I was just thinking about us," I say quietly and a single one of his eyebrows raises questioningly, waiting for me to elaborate on my statement. Here goes, I take a deep breath. "I was thinking about our future, our endless possibilities, our children." The last word of my sentence is almost inaudible in the near silent room, the only other sound present is our steady breathing._

 _His whole body stiffens underneath me and his eyes widen significantly. Holy crap, I knew I shouldn't have said anything/_

" _Ana, please tell me that you're only thinking about our distant future." His fear is tangible within the confines of the great room, the silence returns as we stare at each other, both debating on what to say next._

" _Well, I suppose so. I mean I don't plan on having children for at least five years, minimum. I want to develop my career with SIP, you know that." I feel like I am blabbering, forcing myself to explain why I was having the thoughts about our family and failing miserably to dig myself out of the whole that I have found myself in. I feel Christian physically sigh with relief, is he really that concerned about having children?_

" _Christian, do you want to have any children?" I ask tentatively._

" _Eventually, I suppose, if you wanted one. It's not something that I've ever aspired to have Ana. I never thought I'd get married until I met you let alone have children. But if you wanted a child ten years down the road then maybe we could consider it when the time comes." His voice is nonchalant as if he has detached himself from the topic, his lips return to the journey they were undertaking, an attempt to end the current conversation that is underway. He said child. Singular._

 _He would only have children if I wanted one. My fifty, always trying to make me happy, this time however it simply pains my heart. I don't want to do anything that he doesn't want to do with me, I would never force him to have children with me. It has to be a joint decision to bring a child into this world. Why is he so against having children?_

 _Then, my heart breaks at my realisation. My poor fifty. This comes back to his birthmother and his fear, his insecurity. He doubts himself too often because of the horrific events of his early childhood, I force myself not to cry and bury my head into the crook of his neck._

" _I love you Christian." I whisper against his skin, the feelings that I feel for him are poignant in my heart and everlasting. I never want to let him go. I want to protect him from everyone, including himself._

" _I love you too, my beautiful Ana." With this declaration, he stands up with me in his arms and carries me into our room, our secluded sanctuary in his tower in the sky, where our love is reinforced to each other throughout the night. The previous conversation is forgotten, all that is spoken is the affirmation of our love._


	5. Chapter 5

**I apologise for the long wait for the chapter. I know that some of you didn't really like the last chapter, so I apologise for that too. This is my first fanfiction/attempt to show other people my writing so I do appreciate everything that you write, it really does help so thank you** **Also, bear with me, what happens in this chapter isn't forever, I happen to be a big fan of a happily ever after. Fifty Shades belongs to E.L James**

Still staring at my reflection in the guestroom's bathroom mirror, I take in my appearance; red rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks from my constant crying. I look a mess, but at least my face matches the turmoil I feel inside, no more hiding. My hand rests softly on my stomach, just knowing that there is a child growing inside of me makes my heart swell in my chest. My heart rate has decreased from my earlier distress and now determination swims through my veins. I need to do this for myself, for Christian and for our unborn child.

I swiftly walk out of the bathroom and, as quietly as I can, I rush downstairs into the master bedroom. Knowing that Christian will be in his study for the majority of the night, pondering over our earlier conversation, I take a deep breath and grab a small sized luggage bag from the huge closet that myself and Christian share, or shared. Quickly, I start packing essentials that I will need; clothes, underwear, shoes. Everything else I can get later on. Fear grips my heart suddenly; am I really doing this? Am I really leaving my husband out of fear of our future together because of the child that happens to be growing in my stomach? My hand returns to where the new life is growing, why did this happen to us now, we're not ready for this blip. I let out a laugh, disgusted by my own internal monologue. This isn't blip's fault, how could anyone blame a harmless baby for the circle of life that happens to arrive when the parent's aren't ready? This is my fault, I don't want Christian to feel guilty for this, that's why I have to leave, even if it is only for a short while.

I look in the corner of the closet, put on the closest pair of skinny jeans and find my college jumper, the looseness of it makes me want to sigh, I feel safe and warm in the worn material that was my constant companion when I was a student, was that really only a few months ago? It feels like it's been years, and now I'm married to the Greek god that is Christian Grey whose mood changes like the wind and pregnant with his baby, who'd have thought?

Scraping my hair into a messy, loose bun on the top of my head, I walk into the master bathroom and grab a spare toothbrush from under the sink. Looking up into the mirror, I see a scared woman staring back at me, she's conflicted; she's angry but also worried. _You can do this Anastasia Grey, you can do it,_ my subconscious tells me. _You are a grown, married woman and you need to do this for yourself._

"I can do this" and with one last look in the mirror, I walk out of the bathroom, and grab my luggage bag from the floor in the closet. Then, I remember that I need a car so I rush over to the side room and grab the keys for my Audi R8, and even though I know that when I go Sawyer will be on my tail, I can't wait for the freedom that comes along with driving a car myself. With confidence and determination spurring me forward, I stride through the great room until I am stood outside of Christian's office. It's quiet inside. Not a good sign, clearly his frustration is being contained and being left to brew up inside of him. Nope, this is definitely not a good sign. Scared Christian is one thing, but angry Christian? That is one shade of grey that is not easily overcome. Frankly, I was hoping to get this conversation over with as quickly as possible to avoid the heartache. But I think I knew from the moment that I started packing my bags that this was going to be a fight. A fight that part of me didn't want to win.

With a deep breath, a knock softly on his office door and walk in without waiting for his response from inside.

"Christian…" I say quietly as I open the door.

When I enter, the first thing that I notice is the smell of alcohol and the broken pieces of glass that are lying on the floor by the door, I automatically assume that Christian got angry with a crystal tumbler filled with whiskey before I got here, holy shit.

I look up and see Christian sitting on his office chair with his hands in his hair and his forehead resting on his desk.

"And the mother goose arrives" he says with a sarcastic laugh, sitting up straight in his chair. Fury resonates strongly in his eyes, however I also know that mine now reflect the same emotion.

"What's that suppo-"I start to counter his statement, but before I get chance to finish my sentence, he interrupts me.

"Are you here to manipulate me by using the crackwhore again? Is that what that stunt you pulled in the bath today was? To rehash the memories of my fucking childhood. I thought you were dead Ana, and then you go and expect me to just walk away from the situation and suddenly be happy about this whole fucking thing. I. Cant. Be. A. Father! Don't you understand that, after everything that I've told you?" His face is red with anger and I can see the vein bulging at the side of his neck. He has stood up and is not stood right in front of me, so close that I can feel his warm, alcohol tainted breath on my cheeks. His words sting, and although I know that they are mostly said out of anger and have swollen out of proportion, they still hurt. His eyes have widened fractionally.

"Do you really think that I'm ready to be a mother Christian? I'm 22 years old for heaven's sake, I've literally just graduated and got married and I have no clue how to look after a baby, I can't even remember that last time I held one!" The anxiety within my voice is increasing with every breath I take and I am unsure as to whether Christin has heard a single word that I have just said. C _alm down_ _Ana, think of the baby._

"Was this your plan from the beginning baby? Can I even call you that anymore now that you're knocked up?" Anger flares up inside me, threatening to explode. But instead of containing the anger, I let it burst.

"Knocked up? This is your child too Christian, you happen to be the other half of the pair that contributed to this baby, not just me. So don't you dare stand there and act as this is all my fault! I'm sorry that I forgot the shot, I'm sorry that I've had other things on my mind recently and I'm sorry that I've ruined your life because I got pregnant with your child, a child that will be depended on the both of us. Is that what you want me to say? Is this what you want, me to grovel in front of you and admit all of my mistakes, because if we're doing that, you've got one hell of a list of things to start apologising for Christian."

I knew I shouldn't have said half the things that I have just said to him, but my inner bitch is on a roll. Days of pent up frustration just came spewing out of my mouth. This time however, I know that I need to cap my anger, this isn't getting us anywhere. I look up and see his nostrils flaring angrily, holy cow I think I went too far. I need to apologise. _Don't you dare! Stand your ground Ana._

"Look Christian, this isn't what I came in here to do." He laughs ago, not the carefree smile that I'm accustomed to with his million dollar smile, but a laugh that chills me to the core. It's sarcastic and almost sinister.

"Oh, so you weren't here to berate and manipulate me then? You're not trying to imitate my crackwhore of a birthmother? You could have fooled me." His eyes widen further when he realises what he has said, his posture slackens and my eyes pool with tears.

"Ana I-"

"No. Just stop. This has bloomed into something worse than it needs to be and I don't know how we're going to fix this, but I know we will, somehow in the end. We need a break." He tries to speak, but if I stop now, I don't think I'll be able to continue. My heart is racing within my chest and my hand has unconsciously rested itself upon my stomach, trying to hold myself together.

"Just a break, not a divorce. We need this Christian, no matter what you believe. We both need time to think this through and come to terms with the fact that in less than 9 months I'm going to have a baby. Please don't come after me, I'm begging you. I just need some time to myself, as do you. I love you with all of my heart, but all I have felt over the last few days is heartache." I take another deep breath and look up from where I have been staring at the carpet and like me, his eyes are filled with tears. _Go Ana, leave now before he says something to make you stay._ I know my subconscious is right, but before I leave, I softly kiss him on his lips enough to show him that he still owns my heart and then I walk away.

"Ana! Please, no baby. Don't leave, I'll do anything please" He starts to grab my arm, but I pull away, grab my luggage bag from outside of the office, grab the keys to the Audi and wait for the elevator. Behind me, I can hear Christian murmuring as he is following me.

"It isn't forever" I say quietly as I wait.

"Where will you go?" he asks, I can hear the tears that have gathered in his throat. Oh, my poor fifty. This is for the best, I'm sure it is.

"I'm not sure, but I'm sure Sawyer will inform you once I have decided or you'll use the tracker on my car." On that note, the elevator doors open and I walk in, heartbroken at what I am doing to both myself and my husband.

"Ana" I look at him properly for what feels like the first time of the day, and all I can see in front of me is my poor broken boy.

"Christian." His name is last word that I say as the elevator door closes and then, I break down in a wave of heart wrenching, devastating tears that envelope me.


	6. Chapter 6

**New chapter! Also, I would like to thank the people who review each chapter, I honestly love reading what you write as I haven't showed this to any of my friends/family so it's great to get feedback from you. Fifty Shades belongs to E.L James and therefore I sadly do not own anything to do with it.**

 **P.S. The whole time I was writing this chapter, I had Taylor Swift's 'This Love' playing, so you could call it my inspiration.**

The ride down in the elevator ends in what seems like seconds. My mind is dazed and confused; I've just left my husband. Even if it's only for a short while, that's still what I have done and now, after all the times that I have told him that I would never leave him, I've gone against my word. _But it's for the best, for now. It's what you need to do._ The tears continue to fall down my face as I briskly walk over to my Audi R8, the car that Christian bought me for my 22nd birthday. Memories of that day float across my mind, happy memories that evoke a small smile on my lips. We can work this out, I know we can.

Once I am sat in the driver's seat, my thoughts halt and come up blank. Where am I going to go now, I don't have anywhere else to go. My life literally begins and ends with Christian, I hardly speak to anyone else. I can't go to anyone from work. I may have an important role within the company, but I don't think Christian would appreciate me talking to one of my/our employees about our- how would I describe it- our _situation_. Our baby is now a situation, great.

I could go and see Ray, he's still in hospital. No. I can't talk to my dad about this. I wouldn't even know how to start off the conversation – " _Dad, I'm pregnant and my husband isn't ready for a baby so I got angry and walked out even though I said I never would"._ I don't know who he would shout at more; me for walking out on my husband and going against my word or Christian because he rejected me and the baby. Actually, I do know who he'd be the angriest at, Ray always reinforces to Christian that it is now his duty to protect me as his wife and he probably wouldn't see my husband in the best light if I told him what happened. Nope, I'm not talking to Ray about this.

Then there's my mother; currently on her fourth husband. She'd probably just scold me for getting pregnant so soon after my marriage and then tell me some cheesy, over used quote about karma and how everything happens for a reason. There isn't a chance of me talking to my mother right now, that is a conversation that can wait for another time in the future when I have Christian at my side again.

The only other person that I can speak to is Kate, as soon as I think her name, an immediate feeling of relief floods through my body. Kate has been asking me ever since the end of my honeymoon for some girl time, that can be my excuse for going around. I grab my phone from my pocket and quickly find Kate's name in my contact list and text her.

 _*Hey Kate, are you busy?_

Minutes later, she replies.

- _I was just about to leave the apartment to go to El's, what did you need A?_

 _*I need a break, girl time ASAP._

 _-YES! Is Moneybags finally letting you leave the apartment?! I'll text El now and tell him that I'm staying here tonight._

I breathe a sigh of relief and rest my head on the back of the chair, she doesn't suspect anything, thank god. Then, my phone beeps signalling that I have another message.

 _-Is there any particular reason for you suddenly wanting girl time? Has something happened A? Do I need to get some Chinese food from the takeaway?_

I can't lie to my best friend. She'll know something is wrong as soon as she sees my face, damn Kate's inquisitive nature.

 _*I'll be there soon and I'll tell you everything when I get there. I just need to talk I think._

 _*And yes to the Chinese food, I have hardly eaten all day. I'll be there in 5 so we can drive down together_

Once I finish texting Kate, I quickly pull my seatbelt across my body and secure myself in my seat. I look around the Escala's private parking lot, it's currently full of cars, probably due to the fact that it's almost 8pm on a Friday night meaning that most people are either inside their apartment or out drinking with their friends. I can't even do that anymore, I think to myself, especially not with blip on the way, can I even eat Chinese food now? Gosh, I'm so clueless, this is why I'm not ready to be a mother.

I look up from where my eyes have dropped down to gaze at my currently flat stomach, the elevator doors have opened again revealing the form of Sawyer. He looks directly at me and I smile, I knew Christian would send Sawyer after me, so protective even after we've been arguing. I turn on the engine, turn the music up on the radio and drive out of the parking lot, knowing that Sawyer will be close behind me due to the tracker that was activated in the car 'for my safety', also known as 'for Christian's controlling and protective needs'. I laugh to myself and continue the short drive to Kate's apartment singing along to the radio, feeling a slight happiness enter my mind at the thought of seeing my best friend again. This however, evaporates when I remember why I'm going to see her in the first place.

With the traffic on my side and a fast car under my control, I make it to Kate's apartment in Pike Place Market in just under 5 minutes. I bring the car up to the sidewalk and wait for Kate to come outside. Looking up at the building, I remember how excited I was to be moving here after we finished at WSU. The area was much too expensive for my own preferences as I was, at the time, only looking into the prospect of having a small job at a local publishing house. Kate however, had other ideas. Thanks to her dad's generosity, we were able to have a beautiful apartment with me paying a lot less than I should have been. When we moved in, I expected that it represented the most luxurious surroundings that I would ever experience, that was, however, before I fell madly in love with Christian Grey, a man who makes it his life's mission to spoil me, even when it's unnecessarily ostentatious and pretentious. I honestly don't think that I will ever get used to the fact that I'm married to a billionaire, or even the fact that I have access to that kind of money. It seems too indulgent to me. At least our baby will never want for anything, this child will be more protected than any other child in the country if Christian comes around to the idea of us having a child.

A knock on the Audi's window brings me out of my thoughts and I look up to see the face of my best friend smiling down at me. She opens the door with a flourish and throws herself into the passenger seat of the car.

"Hey Ana" She says brightly whilst putting on her seatbelt, just her presence makes me smile. I've missed my best friend terribly.

"Hey Kate, how've you been? I feel like it's been forever since I've seen you." I reply, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. Despite the increase in my mood, the argument between Christian and I is still at the forefront of my brain, threatening to drown me in despair if I think about it too much. Before she starts to speak, I signal to turn into the road and set off for our favourite Chinese takeaway.

"Oh you know, I've been spending most of my time with Elliot. This is actually the first Friday night that I've not spent with him in a while, but we need girl time." She sounds so happy, carefree. She's engaged, has a good job and has unlimited possibilities to look forward to, I can't help but feel slightly jealous.

"You're moving in with him soon, aren't you? You're engaged so that must be the next step."

"Well I was planning on moving in with him in the next couple of weeks. I mean, we're not getting married anytime soon I don't think, so it's not like we need to rush…" Rush. Is that what Christian and I have done? We 'dated' for a few weeks and then we were engaged. Even then, we only had a short engagement and were married within 2 months. Now, we're married and I thought that we would have more time for just the two of us, instead it's going to be the three of us. Me, Christian and little blip. Sure, it's happened quickly and I wish we had more time to prepare, but it won't be _that_ different, will it? _Who are you trying to kid? Because you're not fooling yourself or Christian,_ my subconscious rears her head with her blunt words that hold the truth.

"Ana? Did you hear a single word that I just said?"

"Oh, I was listening. So you don't want to get married yet?" I try to appear upbeat and engrossed in the conversation at hand. Somehow, I don't think I'm a good enough actress to pull off lying to the one and only Kate Kavanagh.

"That wasn't the answer to the question that I asked you a few minutes ago, I said are you ready to go and order the Chinese since we've been parked here for the last five minutes." I take in my surroundings, I must have been completely out of it. I didn't even realise that we had arrived, my inner musings have made me lost track of time and place. Can I blame the baby at this point in the pregnancy for my scattered thoughts or is it too early?

"Yeah, sure. Sorry Kate, I guess my mind is elsewhere." With that, we both get out of the car and walked over to the Chinese takeaway that was our saviour during our time as university students.

Half an hour later, I'm sat with Kate on the cream sofa within her apartment eating chicken chow mein with chopsticks like a pro. I saw Sawyer park up outside when we got out of my car, and even though I'm angry at Christian, I'm thankful for his protection, especially now with the baby. I can't be too careful. I look over at Kate and realise that she's staring at me intently, her eyes are sparkling widely, seemingly trying to view inside of my head, trying to view the situation from every angle. It is in that moment that I realise how different our lives have become. Throughout the last few years at university, Kate would bring back boys to the apartment and then break their heart a few days later by crushing them with her 6 inch heels. Despite this, I always imagined that she would settle down and get married first. I never really noticed boys, the romantic part of me was devoted to literature and the great love stories within them. Classic tales of how the female was swept off of her feet from the handsome stranger. Forbidden love. The story of how the damsel is saved by her knight in shining armour. Now look at us, I was swept off of my feet by a handsome stranger who happened to also be a knight in shining armour and Kate is engaged to my brother in law.

"Something's up Ana," Oh no, busted. "What's happened? I know you said that you wanted girl time, but there must be some ulterior motive because I've been trying to make you spend some time with me for weeks. Please, tell me if somethings happened. Is it Christian? Did he fuck up?"

Hearing the concern evident within her voice makes tears spring to my eyes. How the hell did I expect to keep this from her? I sneak a gaze up at her and see her body slump back into the sofa when she sees me starting to cry.

"I'm pregnant." As soon as the words leave my mouth, my subconscious exits, not wanting to see her reaction to my confession.

I hear her gasp. Her face reflects many different emotions within only a few seconds like a kaleidoscope; shock, bewilderment, anger, understanding and finally, happiness.

"Oh. My. God" My best friend's face breaks out in a huge grin and she envelopes me in one of her signature bear hugs. "I'm going to be an auntie, oh my god oh my god. Ana, this is amazing!" Then, I see her face drop and the smile that lit up her face only seconds ago slips.

"What's wrong Ana? What's up, you can tell me anything, this is supposed to be a happy time for you. I mean it's early, but I'm sure you'll be fine. Wait. What did he do Ana?" Her voice is stern, guiding me to tell her everything. She doesn't need to elaborate further, I know exactly who she's speaking about. She and Christian have never seen eye to eye, and this quite possibly could be the icing on the cake.

"He didn't do anything Kate," I _really_ don't want to bad mouth my husband to my best friend, he doesn't deserve it, despite everything that has happened. "I just don't think we're ready Kate, I'm 22 for god's sake." I breathe out in a huff.

"Are you going to get rid of it?" Her voice is quiet, eerily quiet. Almost as if she can't believe what she's saying to me. Quiet Kate is a side of her that I have never seen before, but I understand her hesitation and trepidation towards the subject.

"Of course not, I could never do that. I just need a break from the apartment for a bit. I need more time to be just Ana, not Mrs Christian Grey and 'mommy'" The words tumble out of my mouth in a freefall. This revelation is new to me and it all clicks into place in my mind.

"I, er, I can't believe it Ana. I know you might not see it now, but I'm sure everything will turn out just fine. There's more that you're not telling me, I know that, but I won't push you. Well not tonight anyway. I'll always be here for you Ana. Especially now, so I'll go and get the Ben and Jerry's out of the freezer and we can watch a movie, okay?" Even in the darkest of times, Kate knows exactly what to say.

A few hours later, I'm lying in my old bed at the apartment. Even though I moved out weeks ago, she still hasn't moved anything out of my room. It brings back memories, some of them dark and heart breaking. Christian left me alone in this room after he spanked me, the feeling of disgust and rejection swims to the surface. He's not that man anymore, he's my husband. My overly protective, loving husband. I need him to know that this changes nothing, he still means everything to me. He means the world and more.

* _I love you, A xx_

I quickly text him, not waiting for a reply that I know is bound to come, and then I let the tears fall again and drift off into a sleep full of nightmares.


	7. Author's Note

Dear readers,

Don't worry, **this isn't a note to tell you that I'm no longer writing this story!**

I've been busy trying to update A Bump in the Road over the last couple of days so that I could get it posted by today, however I've only managed to write half of it. I'm going away for just over a week and I'm not going to have any wifi meaning that I won't be able to update.

However, I plan on taking my laptop with me and aim to, hopefully, complete the next chapter by the 13th August (which is A Level results day and I might just cry when I get them as university places depend on these results, ah help!)

I'm sorry to keep you waiting for the next chapter, I just want to make sure that it's good enough to post and not disappointing/rushed like some of my other chapters.

Anyway, I shall hopefully see/speak to you all when I get back with a new update! Thank you for sticking with me

Chloe/ WildestDreams97


	8. Chapter 7

**Okay, I apologise for the extremely long wait time! I forgot to bring my laptop charger when I went away last week so I didn't have much time to write. However, I did get my results for my A Levels where I got AAB, so excited for University now which starts in September. I would like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has read/favourited/followed/reviewed my story, and an extra thank you to reviewer Dseiladmnd who gave me the idea for some of this chapter, I was going to thank you through a PM but I realised that I couldn't! Anyways, on with the story**

 **-Another apology, I went away again before I had chance to upload the chapter and I was distracted by 'The Queen of the Tearling' which is AMAZING by the way, you should all read it, but I'm going to update super soon to make up for it**

 **Fifty Shades belongs to E.L James, not me sadly**

Christian's POV

 _I walk behind her as she walks towards the elevator in the apartment. Despite the tension that surrounds us and the anger that is still evident between us, I still can help myself looking at her, the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid my eyes on. Even when she's angry, she lights up a room, her passion shines through wherever she is, enlightening everyone that she meets, even those enshrouded in darkness. My inner musings are then interrupted by her voice._

" _It isn't forever" Her voice breaks slightly. I know that her pain is because of me, and knowing this makes me hate who I am. What kind of man makes their wife cry? What kind of a husband tries to manipulate their wife into subordination through intimidation? I am a husk of a man, the events of the last couple of days reinforce this to her and to myself. No matter what Ana says, I will never be good enough for her. I know that, but I will prove to her that I can be worthy of her love. I just don't know how to do that anymore. Hearts and flowers were never my thing._

" _Where will you go?" my voice sounds weak to my ears, I inwardly scold myself for the weakness. Part of my hopes that she won't hear it even though I know she will whereas the other selfish part of me hopes that she can hear the pain in my voice informing her of what she is doing to me. To us._

" _I'm not sure, but I'm sure Sawyer will inform you once I have decided or you'll use the tracker on my car." She has yet to look up at me in the eyes, though if she did, I don't know if I would be able to bear the tears that are likely to be lurking around her beautiful blue eyes. The elevator doors open and she walks forward, fearing that this may be the last time get to see her in a while, I move forward and cry out her name, not bothering to worry about the weakness that I am displaying to her; my wife; my lifeline; my reason for living._

" _Christian" Then the doors close on the face of my wife, leaving me feeling more alone than ever. Sawyer stalks past me minutes later from where I have remained stood in front of the gleaming elevator doors, my body hasn't moved at all, perhaps due to the shock of her leaving._

" _I'll go and follow her sir." He knows what I was going to ask before I even thought about uttering the words. In the last few months it has become increasingly evident that Sawyer and my wife have become closer, and my rational mind knows that it is nothing to worry about; that he sees her as a younger sister just like she views him as an overly protective older brother. Her safety and wellbeing means everything to me, and Sawyer helps me maintain it. With a slight nod of my head, I turn and walk away into the master bedroom in Escala._

 _My whole body feels numb. She's left me. My wife who is carrying my child has left me alone, all alone. The air surrounding me seems to swell suddenly and it becomes more and more difficult for me to get air into my lungs. I crouch and sit on the floor, my shaking legs unable to carry my weight any longer. My throat constricts and my eyes become blurred._

" _Please no. Please come back. Please don't leave me by myself" I cry into the dark empty room, the sound seems to echo off of the walls as if the room was empty. My world is empty without my Ana._

 _It could be seconds, minutes or even hours that pass before I am broken out of my self-inflicted pain fest by the sound of my phone announcing a text message. I quickly grab it out of my back pocket._

 _\+ Kate's just told me that Ana wanted a girl night and bailed on me, you up for a bit of brotherly bonding ;)_

 _I surprisingly feel comforted by the fact that Ana is with Kate, despite Kate's ability to get my wife in trouble I hope that she will be able to provide her with the comfort tonight that I am unable to._

 _=Sure, where we off to?_

 _\+ That bar near Escala, I'll be at yours in 15 dickhead._

 _An hour later, we're sat in the bar, a glass of wine in my hand and a beer in Elliot's. The bar is busy, full of both men and women dancing and drinking the Friday night away, couples are sat in booths around the edges of the room seeking solitude in the dark together. This sight makes me yearn for Ana even more._

" _So, what's going on with you and Ana anyway?" Absolutely-fucking-brilliant, just the thing that I wanted to bloody talk about tonight, "There I was, waiting for Kate to get to my apartment so we could have some make Elliot happy time when I get a quick bloody text message from Kate saying that Ana wanted to spend some time with her, and I know for fucking certain that you keep your wife on a tight leash so something must have happened for you to suddenly let her to do what she wants. So, what's happened bro." Then he downs the last of his beer and orders in another round, I quickly drink mine and order a scotch and wait for the bartender to deliver our next drinks. I'm going to need more alcohol if I'm going to have this conversation with my brother._

 _Our drinks arrive and my brother looks at me expectantly, clearly waiting for me to speak. Since when has my brother been so bloody observant? I have to admit, I haven't been around very much to notice these things, but bloody hell he can't have always been this way._

 _I know that I have to I tell him everything. If I want to have a proper relationship with my brother, I think that this is something that I have to do, so I do and I don't stop talking._

" _Ana's pregnant. She missed the shot. I mean it's the one thing that she really has to remember and she fucking forgot, and now she's going to have a baby. We've only been married for a couple of weeks and now she's pregnant. How the fuck am I supposed to look after a child, especially a child that is my own flesh and blood. You know how fucked up my life was before you lot. Can you imagine me as a fucking father? Because I bloody well can't. This child could do so much better than me and I don't know how I'm supposed to tell Ana, my wife, the woman who has the most faith and patience in the world, that I don't think that I am capable of helping her through her pregnancy when I know that I'm gonna fail her in the long run. I don't know if I could face doing that to her, she means so much to me Elliot, and I'd hate for her to be disappointed in me. I just want to make her proud." I inhale deeply, clear my throat loudly and drink the scotch in the glass in front of me. I don't want to look over at Elliot, I don't want to see the look on his face._

 _Staring down at my now empty glass, I hear him sigh, call over the bartender and order another glass of scotch for me. Once the glass is placed in front of me, I drink in quickly. I've drunk before after a bad day at work, this time however, I know exactly what they mean when they say that people drown their sorrows in alcohol. I'm sick of making people around me miserable, and the alcohol helps me forget about that somewhat._

" _Listen bro, I think I understand where you're coming from I was adopted too remember, but she loves you." I look up when I hear the seriousness in his voice. "That woman married you for a reason; one because she has the patience of a saint and two because she sees beyond your wealth to see your heart. And that bro, is something that I imagine that most people find it hard to do. No matter what you do, Ana is going to love you and help you through whatever happens. You found each other for a reason bro. But you need to get yourself together, not only for yourself and your mental health, but for your wife. She's pregnant for Christ's sake, she needs you now more than ever and she needs protecting now more than ever. However, I will give you tonight to vent, which means that we need more alcohol." He turns away from my face and shouts up to the bartender. "Hey! Can we have another round over here please? Cheers."_

 _With the drinks in our hands, he turns back to me and nods his head towards me,_

" _To you and Ana bro, and you're everlasting happiness! Drink up, it's your tab we're drinking on anyway, s'not like you can't fucking afford it."_

" _Come on bro, at least try and make this easy for me. For fuck sake, where's Taylor. I feel like I've been here for bloody ages. I could have been fucking Kate now but I'm stood here with you dickhead, oh hell you're gonna kill me in the morning for allowing you to get this drunk." I try and come up with an intelligent response but all that comes out of my mouth is something that sounds like a groan._

" _Oh thank bloody fuck for Taylor, finally." Then, everything blurs and my eyes close, leaving me in the dark._

The room is quiet, the only sound that I can hear is my own heart beating in my chest. It's dark and I'm all alone in the kitchen. Mommy is asleep on the floor in the living room, she smells funny. I hear the door open and slam against the wall. I run as fast as I can to the table and hide underneath it. My hand flies in front of my mouth, I hope he doesn't hear me.

"Oiy, boy!" he shouts. Please don't find me, please don't hurt me again. I hear him enter the kitchen and my breathing increases. He lifts up the table cover and looks straight at me. His eyes are black, he scares me. Then, before I can run away he grabs my arm and drags me into the living room. I try to escape from his grasp, but he is holding me too tight. My arm hurts. I start to cry.

"Shut up kid, this is your fault," he says pointing to mommy. She still hasn't moved from the floor. "You did this to her you little shit." He lets go of my arm and I run over to mommy and lie next to her. Please help me mommy, don't let him hurt me again mommy.

The scary man leaves the house and I am left alone with mommy. She feels cold, so I go and get her a blanket from my bed and put it over her. The house is quiet again, I can only hear my own breathing. I lie under the blanket with mommy and stay close to her until I fall asleep.

A man wakes me up by picking me up from the floor, no! Let me stay with mommy! I want my mommy! They are putting a sheet over her face and carrying her out of the house! No, they can't do that! I want my mommy, please! No!

 _I startle awake by the sounds of my screams. My clothes stick to my body as a thin layer of sweat has formed over my skin, drenching both the clothes and the sheets around me. I sit up and look around the empty room. The cold side beside me on the bed sends shockwaves down my spine. Ana. She's still gone. The few nights that have passed without her lying beside me have send nightmares flooding back into my routine. My head falls down into my hands and I wipe the tears and sleep from my eyes, trying to rid myself on the remnants of the nightmare._

 _Slowly I make my way over to the bathroom, beside the sink, I see a bottle of Ana's favourite perfume. Hope fills my veins. Even when she's gone, it still feels as though she is still here with me. Looking up into the mirror, I can see weariness wearing on my face. Before Ana, I went weeks without proper sleep. It seems like a lifetime ago._

 _After wiping my face and changing into some pyjamas, I fall back into bed ignoring the discomfort from the bedsheets below me, I grab my phone from the bedside table and see that I have numerous text messages waiting for me; one from Ana, one from Elliot and one from Mia. Ignoring the other two, I open the message from Ana;_

 _*I love you, A xx_

 _A grin sweeps across my face almost splitting it into two without any discomfort. She still loves me. After everything that has happened, she loves me. And through the small text message that she has sent me, my world almost seems right again. I will prove to her that I deserve her, if it's the last thing that I ever do._

 _=I love you too, baby. More than you will ever know xx_

 _Who'd have thought that I, Christian Grey, would ever send kisses to someone over a text message? How things have bloody changed, and thank god they were for the better. I can't stand the man that I used to before Ana._

 _After placing my phone back on the side table, I turn over and lay my arm over on Ana's side of the bed. I will get her back. I will do everything it takes, just to make her love me and be proud of me. Memories of Ana float into my mind, and I fall asleep quickly._


	9. Chapter 8

**I was reading through the reviews and I noticed that a few of you commented on the use of the word 'bloody'. I am indeed from the UK and I don't see it as 'posh' as I hear people use it on a daily basis, however I was unaware that it is rarely used in other countries and therefore I apologise for my frequent use of it in the previous chapter and the problems that it had on the characterisation of the Greys- so I'm sorry that I let you guys down. Please do point out any other issues with the story, I appreciate your comments/criticisms. In addition, I view this of a kind of filler chapter, to get the story moving on a bit. I hope you like it**

 **-WildestDreams97/Chloe (p.s it would have been up sooner but I've been ill over the past week!-sorry!)**

 **Fifty Shades belongs to E.L James**

Anastasia's POV

My night of restless sleep is disturbed by the shining light from outside the window. _The sun, Ana, the sun. My god_. My subconscious looks down at me from above her glasses and gives me a disapproving glare. Wow, so I forget what the sun is and suddenly I don't deserve my English Literature degree?

I roll over onto my other side and re-immerse myself within the duvet, snuggling further into the warm and comforting depths of the blankets, refusing to surrender to the new day. It feels colder than every other morning. I move my arm over to Christian's side of the bed hoping to warm myself up next to his skin, just like every other morning when I wake to find him wrapped around me tightly, ensuring that I am safe in his arms. My hand however, only comes into contact with the cold mattress. Swiftly, I sit up in bed and the cold sting of recollection hits me in the chest, throwing the air right out of me. I'm pregnant and I left him. I left my husband. Christian.

I feel my heart rate increase and my breathing becomes shallower as the panic starts to take over. My left hand flies to my chest in an effort to calm myself down and I try to control my breathing. In my head, I quickly review everything that happened yesterday; we fought over the baby _again,_ he confessed his fears about having a baby and rejected blip, I left unable to cope with the constant fighting and spent the night with Kate who, surprisingly didn't push the subject too much.

I look down at the hand on my chest over one of Christian's shirts, my wedding and engagement rings glimmer radiantly in the morning sunlight. After everything that has happened, can I forgive him for everything that's happened and everything that has been said in anger? The answer is obvious inside of my head; of course I can, pure and simple. I love him. I love him and all of his fifty shades. Despite everything, I know that my love for him will never waver only grow and prosper with every passing day. I hope that maybe, just maybe, that this baby will show Christian what unconditional love is and that he deserves to be loved by those around him. Because he is easy to love, maybe this baby, our baby will show him that.

I grab my phone from the bedside table next to me from where I left it last night. I press a button and the screen lights up, illuminating the picture of Christian and I that he took of us lying in bed on our honeymoon that I uploaded from the camera. He looks so happy. Oh what I would do to make him this happy and content all day every day. But then I suppose, he wouldn't be my fifty shades. 1 new message. Oh no. It's going to be from Christian. I don't know if my heart could cope with another rejection. After all, what 28 year old billionaire wants to be married to some plain, emotional woman who is pregnant with a child that he doesn't even want when he could be dating some heiress or a compliant submissive? Do I open it? Refusing to torture myself any longer, I open the text and my heart swells in my chest.

=I love you too, baby. More than you will ever know xx

Tears blossom in my eyes and start to cascade down my cheeks. Maybe not all is lost after all. We can fight through this. We can do this. I repeat this mantra in my head, willing myself to carry on.

As my body starts to calm down, I lay back down on the mattress and I beg myself not to dwell on the fact that I am lying in bed without the only person who can comfort me beside me. My husband tries so hard to fix everything and makes everything perfect for me, but inside I wonder if this 'problem' can be resolved. Ugh, there's that word again. This child, our child, blip is not a problem. This defenceless human being is innocent and pure within this situation and therefore should be protected by those who love them at all costs, protected by its parents. My subconscious looks over at me again from her dated book, narrows her eyes and slightly shakes her head, almost pityingly. Why the hell did everything have to happen so fast?

Staring at the ceiling, wallowing in my own solitude, I start to focus on the sounds outside of my old bedroom to distract myself from the endless thoughts that threaten to unnerve me and destroy my willpower. At first, I hear nothing, and then Kate's voice seems to echo around the apartment.

"What? No you expect me to believe there is nothing else to this story?" Who is she talking to at this time?

"No, listen to me Christian…" oh Christ, this can't be good. "I don't care about who you are…don't you _dare_ raise your voice at me! If you want my help then you better start talking…" Kate hisses venomously.

Help? What kind of help would Christian need from Kate, they abhor each other.

"Listen, Ana is my best friend so if you have done anything to her, I mean anything, that has caused her pain or if you have succumbed to that kinky shit again and abused her, I swear to god Christian you will rue the day that you granted permission for the university student paper to interview you. Do you hear me?"

It has been a few years since I have heard Kate speak like this to anyone and it reminds me again why I am thankful for her, her loyalty never wavers and she always seeks to protect me, from everything; even those who don't necessarily pose any harm.

"No, asshole, I don't think you heard me clearly…You wanna know why I don't want to help you right now? Because last night, when she thought that I was sleeping, I heard her sobbing into her pillow trying to hide her tears from me. Ana hardly ever cried before she met you, so I wanna know what you did…Christian? Hello? Asshole!"

I hear her slam the phone down somewhere and then, she sighs heavily. I can imagine her stood in the front room, hands gripped into fists hanging tightly at the sides of her body and glaring at her phone with hatred, wishing its previous caller was receiving her hatred instead.

I start to sit up in bed amongst the blankets and start to walk over towards the door thinking that she's had enough time to calm down and is hopefully out of her anger infused state due to my husband. Then, I hear her phone ring again with a new ringtone; Crazy in Love by Beyoncé, no doubt who that's for. I roll my eyes, it is so Kate and I try to supress my overwhelming urge to giggle at her obviousness.

"Hey babe, what's up?" Ugh, do I really want to continue to listen to this conversation.

"No not yet, why?...Oh, right, what about Ana?" Yeah, what about Ana? I curiously step closer to the door.

"You spent the night with that asshole? I mean I know he's your brother but-…okay, okay I'll try to be civil" she breaths exasperated "What the hell am I supposed to tell her? Do I just tell her that Grace-"

I don't hear the rest of the conversation. My stomach lurches and I feel my body start to convulse. Disregarding my curiosity, I throw open the bedroom door and run towards the small bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I throw myself in front of the toilet and empty my stomach of the little amount of food that I managed to stomach last night.

When I feel body cease its convulsions, I move back and lie my head on the cool tile floor, revelling in the comforting cooling feeling. I don't notice the door open until I feel Kate next to me, softly stroking my hair. She's not the one I want here with me right now thought.

"I think she's alright Elliot, she's just been sick…Oh, so you know too? Yeah, I'll see you later babe, bye." She hangs up and sits down on the floor next to me.

"Hey you, do you want to get up? This can't be comfortable, I'm going numb already." She laughs softly, and as much as I wish I could despair, Kate makes me smile and feel better with just a few words. Oh how I love my best friend. She helps me stand up from my position on the cold, hard ground and walks with me into the living room.

Once I'm sat down, she gathers some of the blankets from my bed and covers me in them against the cool morning air.

"I'm going to make some tea, would you like some?" She asks brightly, her smile is a little bit too wide for someone with a nonchalant attitude. Oh yes, the phone call.

"Please, if you don't mind" I reply, narrowing my eyes slightly with a slight smirk gracing my lips.

When she gets back, she hands me a hot mug of tea and sits next to me on the comfy sofa that sits in the centre of the living room.

"So," she starts, Kate was never one to wait to talk about something on her mind, I guess we're opposites in that way. "I spoke with Elliot earlier, and he said that Mia has been dropping hints about wanting to spend the day with us, and by us I mean us two obviously, and she kinda wants to do it today. Plus I think she has something she wants to tell us."

"But, why did she have to go through Elliot? Why didn't she just text or call one of us to arrange something Kate? I don't understand." My eyebrows furrow as I cock my head to the side. I see Kate's face start to blush and her eyes widen slightly, something that rarely happens. Is she _lying_ to me?

"I, erm… I think that..." She stammers, this would be comical if I didn't know that something was wrong. "We've both been busy so we must have just missed her calls or something." I narrow my eyes further at her pathetic attempt to make an excuse.

"Okay, Ana. Quit with the whole scowl look that you've got going on there, you're starting to look like Christian. Geez, it must be the baby." She laughs but stops when she sees that I have my arms crossed. "Please Ana, just drop it okay. I'll explain later. Now, do you want to come out for lunch with me and Mia or would you rather stay at home, alone?"

I go through my options in my head; go out with my sister in law and future sister in law/best friends and be succumbed to awkward conversations where I try to hide the fact that I'm pregnant and currently not speaking to my husband. Or, do I stay at Kate's flat and wallow in self-pity. Even in my own head, I know that the second option isn't going to be happening. I need to get out.

Resigned, I accept her proposal.

"Fine. What time are we going?"

Three hours later, I'm sat with Kate and Mia in a small Italian restaurant a short drive away from Kate's apartment. In front of me is the spaghetti bolognaise that I ordered in a flurry when the waiter was stood at our table. My mind is elsewhere. My mind is with Christian, wherever he may be. Where is he, I think. Is he with her again? Bile rises up my throat at the thought. I am distracted however by Mia and Kate's discussion.

"So we all need new outfits for tonight, we all need to look hot." Wait, what? Mia's eyes have lit up at the prospect at going shopping and she claps her hands with excitement. Normally, her excitement and bubbly personality would rub off on me, but not today. What are we doing tonight? Kate looks at Mia with wide eyes, silently urging her to be quiet I think.

"Why, what's happening tonight Mia?" My voice wavers slightly at the endless possibilities, is she making me go clubbing? She clearly misses Kate's glare as she answers my question with no hesitation in her voice.

"Mum's having a family dinner. Didn't Christian tell you? Everyone's invited and she's making it into quite a lavish affair I think, you know what mum's like. I'm shocked that Christian didn't tell you last night to be honest." I see Kate look over at me with pity in her eyes.

"Oh, right. He must have forgotten." Yeah, he must have forgotten whilst we were shouting at each other and arguing about our unborn child. Yep, it must have just slipped his mind.

I feel my lip start to quiver slightly, so I bite down on it softly. I was hoping for some more time, but I know that I'm going to have to face him. I just wish it wasn't going to be tonight.


	10. Chapter 9

**Okay, I'm sorry that this has taken so long. No one told me how much time University takes up, the amount of books that I've read recently is quite ridiculous. Cheers to everyone who has been reading the story and favouriting/following and reviewing. Anyway, on with the story.**

 **Note- Fifty Shades belongs to E L James**

 **This chapter is dedicated to Lily, thank you for reading my story and providing me with ideas, I'm forever grateful**

"Holy shit." I murmur quietly. "Holy shit. What the hell am I going to do? What am I going to say?" I'm standing in front of a mirror in the bathroom at the restaurant that myself, Kate and Mia went out to for lunch.

"I am talking to myself far too much these days." My face is pale, my blue eyes look too big for my face. I'm starting to get sick of seeing my reflection, I feel like I'm always looking at myself in the mirror these last couple of days since I found out I was pregnant. Most of the time, I'm crying. I really need to get a hold of myself, I'm an emotional wreck these days, it really is quite ridiculous.

"Okay Ana, just go out there and pretend everything's fine. It'll be fine. It's only a family dinner, you can just go with Kate and no one will suspect anything. It'll be fine. Don't panic." With one final look and a nod of the head to myself in the mirror, I turn on my heel, take a deep breath and walk out of the bathroom.

Walking out into the crowded restaurant floor, I start to feel self-conscious about my stomach. It almost feels like everyone in the room is staring at me, staring holes into my stomach because of the baby. I try to suck my stomach in to make myself feel thinner, trying to hide the fact that I'm pregnant. The rational part of me knows that no-one could know about the pregnancy in the room apart from Kate because I'm not showing yet, put I'm paranoid anyway. What if the paparazzi take a photo of me from a bad angle and then the whole city knows that I'm pregnant and then Christian gets even more pissed at me? Oh, I should never have left the house.

After what feels like a lifetime of being observed by everyone in the room, I make it back to the table where Kate and Mia are sat. I try to concentrate on their conversation to distract myself.

"I don't know really, me and Elliot haven't really spoken much about the wedding really. I don't think he's really bothered about the actual ceremony and the flowers, he's already told me that he's planning the honeymoon so, I think I'm okay with that." Kate says cheerily. Her joy is infectious and the thought of her getting married brings a smile onto my face.

"Your fiancé is a lot like his brother in that respect. He didn't care about the finer details. He decided on the honeymoon and our first dance, and that was about it. His only request was that we got married as soon as possible." The girls smile at my recollection. The thought of my marriage and wedding day makes me bite my lips I try to contain my wistful grin and I looks down slightly into my lap at my wedding rings, elegantly shimmering in the midday light. I want to see my husband.

"Well, speaking of wedding dates. Elliot and I have decided to wait for about a year until we get married, you know after everything happens." Kate adds the last statement quietly under her breath to me. But, in true Kate style, her awful whisper is heard by Mia.

"After what happens?" She asks quizzically. "Nothing's really happening in the next few months, I mean there's a few birthdays but that's nothing to put back a wedding for." She pauses for a moment and then suddenly intakes a huge gasp of air. "Oh my god! Kate! Are you pregnant?!" Her eyes are wide with excitement as she struggles to control her enthusiasm. Can you imagine how excited she'll be when she finds out that Christian and I are having a baby? I dread to think.

"God no! Mia, no, I'm definitely not pregnant. It's just we've both got a lot of work happening in the next year so we thought we'd put it off for a bit." Wow, Kate's flawless ability to lie through her teeth is back. I'm not going to lie, I'm impressed. Mia starts to giggle at her mistake and then calls over the waiter to ask for the bill.

After we've paid for our lunch, we head for the shops in search of outfits for later. The first shop that we enter has rows upon rows of formal evening dresses hanging upon the racks. The thought of having to search through all of the dresses almost makes me break out in a sweat, shopping really makes me feel nauseous, it's really not my thing. Mia and Kate almost bounce on the spot with excitement at the prospect of finding the perfect dress. After half an hour of looking, Kate pulls out a floor length white dress. It has capped shoulders with a slight embellishment and flows graciously at the bottom, it looks elegant and sophisticated.

"It's beautiful Kate. You really should try it on, it would look wonderful." I say happily. Kate cocks her head and raises an eyebrow.

"Really Steele? Don't act like I've picked this out for myself, go on. You try it on, it'll suit you."

"Okay. And it's Grey." I smile widely at her, I may hate shopping but I know a gorgeous dress when I see one. I give her a hug and take the dress into the expansive dressing room.

It takes me hardly any time to put the dress on, and dare I say it, I actually like it. No, I love it. It's fitted at the bodice and puffs out slightly at the bottom of my rib cage, hiding my almost existent baby bump. You can't even tell that I've put on a bit of weight, which is always a bonus. I turn around in the enclosed space of my cubicle, open the door and walk out to show my best friend and sister in law.

"Tah dah!" I say with a cheery air. For the first time in a couple of days, I truly feel happy.

"Wow. Ana, you look amazing!" Mia says with an exaggerated clap of her hands, clearly she's pleased that I've successfully found a dress.

"Christian's not going to know what's hit him when he sees you." Kate grins like a Cheshire cat when she says it. I scowl at her and she holds her hands up in front of her in surrender. "Hey, I'm your best friend for a reason. I can get away with saying shit that you don't want to hear. Go on, take it off. We need to go and get you some shoes to go with that dress."

Ten minutes later, the dress is packed away neatly in a box and I pay for it on my AMEX card. $10,900 for a dress!? I feel guilty for buying it. I almost wish that I had an individual bank account so that I didn't feel like I was spending Christian's money, even though we're married, I don't understand how it could be considered right for me to use his well-earned money to buy myself a new dress that I probably didn't need. I'll apologise for it later.

As I'm walking out of the shop, I notice that neither Kate nor Mia have any shopping bags with them.

"Wait, why didn't either of you buy anything? I thought we were all buying outfits together?"

"Neither of us need a new dress so we thought that we'd just buy some accessories whilst you get a whole outfit." Says Kate. I'm so confused.

"But you never give up an opportunity to buy a new dress? Why are you starting now?" Something's going on, something that they're both hiding from me. "Is this about that phone call this morning?"

"Ana, please just let it go. We both just wanted to treat you to a day with the girls without any drama. Can we just leave it at that? Please Steele?" Kate's looking at me with pleading eyes, so this one time, I let it go.

"Fine. And for god's sake Kate, it's not Steele anymore. It's Grey. I'd rather you call me by my married name." I don't want to sound scolding but after the argument that I had with Christian a couple of weeks ago about my name, I realise that I need to get Kate to stop referring to my maiden name. I don't need another reason for Christian to be angry at me. _He's always angry._ Not always, my thoughts return to the majority of our honeymoon and the few weeks after, he was the happiest that I've ever seen him with only a few exceptions; one being the moment that I agreed to marry him and the other being on our wedding day.

"Okay, let's go." Kate replies and links her arm with mine and Mia links into her other.

The rest of the day is spent wandering around the shops trying to find the perfect shoes and accessories, which altogether cost me…Christian…us another $4465. A wave of fear starts to bubble within my stomach at the thought of tonight, and before I've even noticed, we're back at Kate's apartment.

"You alright Ana? You look a bit confused." Mia says with a slight breathy laugh at the end of her sentence.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I kinda zoned out when we finished shopping so I was slightly shocked at being here. I think I was on auto pilot." I smile gratefully at her concern and go to sit down on the soft sofa that sits in the living room and let the two of them talk about later tonight. Before I know it, I've fallen asleep on the sofa against Kate's shoulder, forgetting about the stressful event that is imminent.

After what seems only a few minutes, I am shaken awake by Kate telling me that we need to start getting ready. I look at the clock and see that I've only been asleep for about an hour as it's only half past 4. As I stand up and start to walk over to my old bedroom, I notice that the apartment is surprisingly quiet.

"Where's Mia?"

"She's gone home, she needs to get ready. Which you need to do to, so come on. I'll do your hair and makeup for you and then we can show you off at Bellevue." Sometimes, Kate really does make me feel better, and although this process is a drag, I'm more than happy with the company.

Just over an hour later, my hair is sleek and shiny, floating down my shoulders thanks to Kate's expert fingers and my face is lightly covered with makeup so my 'natural glow' shines through, whatever that means. The beautiful white dress that I bought earlier today fits like a glove, like it was made just for me. I feel pretty. I feel presentable. I feel terrified.

With a final swipe of lip gloss, Kate declares me ready to go. I look at her in the floor length mirror, ready to gush my thanks when I realise that she's still in her skinny jeans and fitted long sleeve black t shirt that she changed into when we got back from shopping.

"Why haven't you gotten changed? We're supposed to set off at any minute. You said that Taylor was due here at 6, it's ten to! Kate, you need to hurry, I'll help." I start to rush around the room, trying to find the dress that she said that she only bought yesterday. "Where's that dress Kate? Help me look."

"Ana, I'm not going tonight. Neither's Elliot. We're having date night, Grace knows. Now go, Taylor's probably already outside. You look wonderful Grey." I smile at her use of my maiden name and hug her tightly.

"Thank you, for making me feel beautiful when I feel disgusting. Thank you for looking after me yesterday, thank you for listening to me, thank you for everything Kate." I let her go and see that hard as nails Kate soon-to-be Grey has tears in her eyes, she walks me to the door and waves as I walk towards the Audi SUV. Shit! Is Christian in there? Taylor is stood outside and nods curtly at me and opens the door. Here goes nothing, I say to myself. Inside, there is no one but myself. The nerves start to bubble up inside of my stomach and I start to feel sick as the car starts moving. I put a hand to my stomach and I try to take a deep breath, but it does nothing to calm down my nerves.

On the seat beside me, I see a small gift box wrapped in ribbon. My lip starts to quiver. Christian. After everything that has happened, after everything that has been said, he still strives to spoil me. I undo the bow and gently open the box. Inside is a diamond bracelet, small and intricate flowers form the precious piece of jewellery. It's so simple but oh so beautiful, my heart almost melts with the gesture. I don't need this, but I almost view this expensive present as his way of apologising. He might not see it that way, but I do. Quickly, I clasp it around my wrist and watch it sparkle alongside my engagement and wedding rings.

I haven't spoken to him all day apart from the text message that I read this morning. It feels like forever. I hate not speaking to him, he's my husband, we should talk daily, tell each other 'I love you' multiple times a day. I miss him. He's hurt me. The stronger part of me tells me to hold my ground, but I don't want to. I want to hold him, despite everything that's going on, I just want the feeling that only being in my husband's arms can provide.

The car drives up the drive to Bellevue and I see the lights twinkling from the lights in the garden outside of the window. I love it here. Carrick and Grace have made their house a home and normally, I feel nothing but warmth and welcome. But not tonight, apprehension starts to take over as Taylor opens my door and lets me out of the car.

As I walk up towards the door, I notice that the front door is open slightly. No lights are on inside but I see a light from the glass doors at the back of the house.

"Hello? Grace…Carrick…Mia? Christian?" What's going on? I thought that we were supposed to be having a family dinner. I walk towards the light at the back door of the house and see a trail of lights. I follow them slowly, until they lead me to a secluded area within the vast, wild garden. Everything that I was thinking before leaves my mind the minute I walk into the area.

My breath gets caught in my throat when I look up. A table is placed under a gazebo and fairly lights glimmer in the dark, enlightening the whole secluded area and stood in front of it, stand the most beautiful man that I have ever seen. My husband.

Christian.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey! So, I'm still here. First year of university has officially finished already (wow) meaning that I should have more time to write, when I'm not looking after my new puppy! Sorry I took so long with this chapter. I have to admit it would have been posted sooner but I was distracted by Outlander which I recommend everyone to watch and read because it's absolutely fantastic, especially Jamie Fraser… Anyway, here it is! I'm not completely happy but I felt the need to get something out since it's been months so its quite short. Everything Fifty Shades related belongs to E. L. James.**

 _My breath gets caught in my throat when I look up. A table is placed under a gazebo and fairy lights glimmer in the dark, enlightening the whole secluded area and stood in front of it, stands the most beautiful man that I have ever seen. My husband._

 _Christian._

My body betrays me and reacts instantaneously to his presence; my heart seems to race in my chest and I blush under his gaze. He's stood in front of me, not too close, but I can see the clench of his jaw, the faint flicker of his eyelids. It's only been a few days, but I can feel my body yearn for him, yearn for his affection, for his love.

The fact that he's dressed in a well-fitted suit and white shirt also doesn't help.

"Ana." His voice is husky yet oh so strong.

"Christian." My voice cracks slightly. Way to go, Stee- Grey. Great, what a way to start that conversation off strong Ana.

"You look… beautiful." I try to suck in my stomach but just like earlier, it doesn't seem to work.

"Thank you." I reply quietly and my hand unconsciously drifts towards the rings on my left hand and then upwards to the newest addition to my jewellery box. More of his money, pointlessly wasted on me. Just like the dress I happen to be wearing. "I should also thank you for the dress, Kate made me buy it and I only had the card you gave me. I'm sorry, I should have asked you first but it was so last minute I didn't know that we were having a family dinner until earlier and I panicked, I'm just, just ugh sorry." Rambling. I'm rambling, another strong show there. Come on, get a hold of yourself for god's sake.

"Our money. I've told you hundreds of times Anastasia. Don't worry about spending money, and that dress was worth every penny that you spent for it. Use that card to buy anything you need. Food, clothes, stuff for our baby"

I take a sharp intake of breath. Our baby. He said 'our baby', not just 'the baby'.

"About that- "

"We don't need to talk about it now Anastasia. Let's just wait for a bit." He walks towards me and reaches for my hand and I willingly give it to him. He's warm and I can smell his cologne but it's not strong enough to replace his natural intoxicating aroma, I breathe him in as he stands close to me. "Have you eaten yet?"

I shake my head.

"I went to dinner with your sister and Kate, but I wasn't feeling up to eating. My mind was preoccupied." I say, looking up at him as we walk over to the gazebo. The table is laden with plates of food, which I think have been delivered from a restaurant by the look of the plating. I wonder why he has gone to all this effort to get something delivered when he could have just had Gail or Grace make something just as good.

"You need to eat, Ana. I called Taylor and had him bring something from that restaurant you like near Escala."

"Thank you, Christian, you didn't have to. But it smells heavenly." It really does, he's ordered all of my favourites. Another obscene amount of money spent on me. But in a way, I suppose this is his version of trying to help us get back to normal, which is more than I've tried to do.

Together, we sit down at the table and make small talk over the food. The basics. The strained chatter trying to dodge the elephant in the room. We smile at each other shyly throughout the meal. I hate fighting with him. I hate not being able to talk to him freely.

Towards the end of the dessert course, profiteroles drenched in melted milk chocolate, I notice that like me, he has a glass of ice water instead of his usual glass of wine. My heart flutters lightly in my chest. He's done that for me, because he knows that I can't drink. Which means that he must have at least thought about little blip at some point, maybe he even did research about what I can and can't have. My subconscious raises an eyebrow at my inner thoughts, _of course he has_. I look up and he is staring directly at me and I smile.

"You could have had a drink, you know. It wouldn't have bothered me. I don't want you to lose out or suffer any more than necessary." I say to him still smiling slightly, the first real sentence that I've spoken since we started eating. He looks shocked and sits up a little straighter.

"I know. I just think that it would be unfair of me, especially today." He reaches across the table and grasps my hand in his and strokes my knuckles gently with his thumb. He takes a deep breath and his eyebrows furrowed. He stands, pulling me with him, and we walk over to the loveseat in the corner and sit down still holding hands. He looks nervous and my stomach drops and head spins. This is it. Make or break.

"Christian you- "I don't get to finish my sentence as I'm cut off by a firm squeeze of his hand.

"We have lots of things to discuss, I know that. I asked my family to pretend to hold a family dinner so that I could speak to you because I know you wouldn't have come otherwise." I start to protest but he stops me. "Let me finish, I wanted to show you that I love you but you wouldn't speak to me and I just wanted to set things right. Ana, I can't tell you how sorry I am for how I acted towards you, I should never have spoken to you that way," his voice starts to crack slightly under the strain of trying to keep his emotions in check. "you are my wife, not my verbal punching bag. Please forgive me, Ana. It was deplorable my behaviour baby, I'm so sorry." He coughs slightly to clear his throat and looks up at me with wet eyes.

"I forgive you, I know you didn't mean any of it Christian."

"That's beside the point, I hurt you and as your husband that is unforgivable. I vowed to protect you, from everyone and everything, including myself. I'm disgusted in myself."

"Nothing you ever do will be unforgivable Christian. You had your reasons and understand them, we still need to talk about it but I understand. Please don't beat yourself up about this. We need to focus on the future, our future and our family's." I say pleadingly and hesitantly I grab his hands and place them over my still flat stomach. His eyes widen, almost as if he is contemplating the existence of the tiny blip. "I understand what you're feeling, you're my husband and I want the two of us to raise little blip together. But if we can't then… I can do it alone. You wouldn't have to worry about us." I move one of my hands and wipe away the tears that have started falling down my face.

"I will spend the entirety of my life worrying about you Anastasia Rose Grey and I'll spend it worrying about… blip too." My heart soars and I embrace him tightly, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. He stands and returns my embrace and pulls back my head and holds it in his hands starting at me seriously, imploring me to listen. "I don't know if I will be able to be a good father, I mean I don't even know what to do with kids let alone a newborn baby. But I'll try my best, baby. I told you before we got married that I would do anything for you, no matter what. Just give me a chance to figure it out and I won't fail you."

"You couldn't fail at anything Christian, look at everything you've done and I'm not just talking about Grey Enterprises. Once upon a time you told me that you didn't do romance," he smiles his shy smile and holds me closer "you said that you didn't have a heart and that you were incapable of hearts and flowers." I grin and motion my arm around me towards the gazebo and fairy lights flickering like fireflies in the darkness. "This, what you've done here is pretty hearts and flowers Christian and I love you for it. You set this up yourself because you wanted to set things right. Plus, you succeed at everything you put your mind to. Also, you've never failed me, and I'm not going to let you start today and I know for a fact that you're going to be an amazing father to our little blip. And finally, I wouldn't let you be a bad father." I add lightly to defuse the tension of the conversation.

He laughs slightly and leans down to kiss me but pauses just before as if to ask for permission. I close the gap between us and kiss him gently. It may have only been a few days since I last kissed him but desire blooms within me, warming me up and spreading like wildfire. We break apart and he leans his forehead against mine as we gaze at each other with grins on our faces, my glassy eyes mirror his.

"I've missed you Mrs Grey."

"I've missed you too, Mr Grey. We still have a lot to talk about you know, the last couple days have been hell so I think it can wait till at least tomorrow."

"Agreed." He pulls away from me partially and puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out the remote for the music player that had been steadily in the background the entire evening. He changes song and pulls me against him again gently. "Care to dance Mrs Grey?"

"Always Mr Grey." The song is slow and romantic. It fills the air around us, surrounding us. I am wrapped around Christian, my head rests against his chest so I can her his heart beat as we slowly sway and dance to the music. His palms rest on either side of my waist, his thumbs stroking me gently. Never in my life have I felt so close to him than right now.

"Never again, Ana." I know what he's talking about. The last few days have been torture. He said before that he would move the earth to avoid being without me, and what he is willing to do means so much more.

"Never, I promise."

"I love you" He whispers. "Come home with me baby, come home. Let me love you like I should have the other day."

I grab his face and pull him down to me and kiss him tenderly.

"Home."

 **A/N: The song at the end that Ana and Christian were dancing to was Come Away With Me by Norah Jones.**


End file.
